Thursday, April 17, 2008

A big blurry movie!

My life has become a big old blurry movie it seems. I wake up and get as much housework done as I can, check my e-mails, blogs and bank accounts online. Then I eat breakfast, if I am lucky. Get ready for work and spend 7-8 hours running around dressing up brides. Now don't get me wrong, I love my job very much. I also have to admit that I am pretty damn good at it too. But on a non closing night I get home and spend a little bit of time with my husband. Watch a movie or play poker, something to spend time together. We get exhausted and head to bed to wake up and do it all over again. On a closing night I get home around 10:00pm. Then spend a half hour with Jon and then we crash.
I never have time for anything else anymore, not only that, but no desire to do much. I don't sleep well so I take stuff to help me sleep. Which only makes me more tired in the morning when I don't get 12 hours of sleep. Again I totally dig my job and wouldn't trade it for anything. I guess I am just tired and kind of depressed that I have a dirty house and no clean clothes anymore. I start laundry and then get busy with other things, so it sits there for days on end.
I feel like I am losing part of who I am right now. Almost like a robot in this daily routine and I can't seem to break the cycle. It is driving me nuts to have a dirty house and a pile of laundry that could make a dump jealous. But it is so not typical of me to let it go.
Anyway, just feeling kind of crummy right now. Feeling like I don't have a lot of my life anymore. I love hanging out with Jon and a few friends that I do have. But otherwise I just kind of am flowing through life with this big blindfold on and not sure what or where I am headed next.

3 loving comments, who likes comments?:

Kelli said...

I feel that way sometimes too. It totally sucks. Hopefully we can spice things up tonight at the Golden Corral!!! :D Hang in there. I love ya!

Fosburg Four said...

I know how you feel. I agree with Kelli...IT TOTALLY SUCKS!!! Hopefully we will get together soon so we can have a girls night or something. Take Kelli and Tracy out.

The Lone Tree said...

I am there with you Nicole. I also have the annoying habit of agreeing to do things to fast for people. I love to help people but sometimes it means that i put my family last. UGH!! It does get better though. :)